It is official; the CIA and Boeing are partnering to buy UAVs. An anonymous source states that the CIA has bought UAVs is “just in case anything goes wrong with Iran and Belarus.” However, according to a delegate on the Security council, the real threat is The United States and China, who have been attacking the South Korean side of the demilitarized zone and are massing on the North border. The move has been applauded by freedom-loving Americans everywhere.
The situation in North Korea and Iran has escalated; The United States is threatening military force and China has already moved troops to demilitarized North Korean Borders. The DPRK’s government is fighting among themselves, and is not able to win against the united forces of the South and China. Boeing is proud to stand with America and the CIA to protect freedom at home and abroad.
Boeing stands with all Americans in these trying times, and encourages all Americans to have faith in America’s airlines. Readers who use the code “BOEINGUSAFREEDOM” at participating airlines will receive $73.70 off of their flights. And remember: There is no safer way to travel than Boeing!*
*By using the code on eligible flights, you are waiving your rights to sue boeing in the event of further 737 failures. Plus you’d be dead if it happened anyways so who cares? Book that flight you cowards. Boeing cares about AMERICA.
**Also. legally we have to tell you that Boeing has purchased the Chicago Tribune, not out of fear of bad press, but because we LOVE the free press. You can still see all coverage of Boeing on the Chicago Tribune, but really its AirBus you have to watch out for. I think they hire anyone over there. Probably a bunch of idiots.
