A group has split apart from the Janes. The organization has been spilt into one group of the 7 original members “The Janes” and The other three members are now a part of an unknown organization called “The Does”.

MTV was privileged to get a statement from two members of “The Janes”, The Director of Public Policy and the Director of Communications.

“We are the Janes collective. A collective is founded on togetherness. the Janes are incredibly hurt and betrayed by the treason of former Janes’ member Gabriela Vasquez AKA Gabby. One of the most discussed values the Janes value is loyalty. A person seeking abortion needs to trust the abortion clinic and clinician. Thus we cannot support Gabriela, and we will be investigating the situation and plan to sue her. Following Gabriela, the Lead Activist is the Directory of Community Relations and the Founder.”

On the other hand, anonymous source told MTV that they do not plan to follow through with the legal actions presented by the Directors of Public Policy and Communications.

There was a second leak relating to the Janes partnership with ExxonMobil. ExxonMobil gave “The Janes” $500K for funds. What they don’t know is that the money is being laundered to the underground group “The Does”, and they are using this money to do more embezzlement. This is why “The Janes” was split in the first place.

Hot off of accusations that its ally Syria is engaging in chemical warfare, the USSR is pressuring Iran to cede the territories of Golestan, North Khorasan, and Razavo Khorasan due to claims of civilian killings. 

The USSR has accused Iran of killing USSR civilians in its northeastern provinces, stating that Iran has “endangered and already killed thousands of innocent civilians” in the provinces of Golestan, North Khorasan, and Razavi Khorasan, and thus requests to occupy said provinces.

It is important to note that the war between Iraq and Iran is occurring along the western border of Iran, with Iraq fighting a 2-front war between Syria to the west and Iran to the east. 

Iran has asserted that the war is occurring nowhere close to possible USSR civilians, claiming that the USSR is threatening Iran with military action.

The Iranian Minister of Petroleum states that “it seems like the USSR has the worst intentions for the Middle East” and is beginning to establish a demilitarized zone within the provinces, along with seeking diplomatic negotiations with the USSR.

The Minister of Petroleum is also requesting the international community to take notice, stressing that “we hope the international community and especially the U.S. can recognize the severity of the USSR’s deception and their threat at this moment.”

Additionally, the Iraqi cabinet has accused Iran’s ally Syria of using chemical warfare and thus violating the Geneva Convention during its incursion into the western borders of Iraq. 

The Minister of Foreign Affairs from Iraq calls upon the Arab League to take action against Iran, stating: “There’s a great importance that the Arab League applies trade sanctions against Iran so that the Iranian and Syrian treachery can near an end.” 

Iran states that it’s currently looking into the accusations of chemical warfare and reconsidering its relationship with Syria, however, they are still allying with them.

In terms of exchanges, the U.S. negotiation involved swapping two Russian nationals for every American national returned safely to the United States. While this was discussed as potentially being an unfair exchange, the cabinet assures the press that this will foster relations between both nations, as well as China. This swap also comes after the Biden administration initiated a prisoner swap with American W.N.B.A. player Brittney Griner and Russian Arms Dealer Vadim Krasikov, which was met with both ridicule and celebration within American borders.

In terms of the ship carrying oil, the cabinet ensured that it will be completing its trip to China as quickly as possible. Furthermore, the CIA Director shared that the Turkish Intelligence Agency will be investigating the contents on the ship to ensure the integrity of the delivery. This will continue previous relationships between the U.S. and Turkey, especially with having Turkey as a mediator.

The United States’ cabinet emphasized the importance of keeping lines of communication open throughout all recovery efforts. Their priorities throughout negotians were the safety of all nationals as well as Ukrainian citizens as well as gaining control of the ship. When asked if this will give an upperhand to the U.S. delegation, it was clear that this does give the United States a certain edege. This leverage would especially become relevant if the United States were to intervene in the war in Ukraine.

Claiming that Taiwan was rightfully Chinese land, the minister explained why he felt the obligation to want the island.

“The citizens of Taiwan want a minister who is in accordance with the people,” he said. “I am that person.”

The Chinese finance minister also reiterated that he is the only person he believes the Taiwanese people want ruling over them.

“I have experience as a finance minister, and I know how money runs a country,” he explained. He also elaborated that China taking over Taiwan would complete China’s adherence to the one country, two systems policy.

The minister of finance remained mum on how he would implement his plans to take over the island. “I haven’t decided on anything specific,” he said, in regard to how he would invade the island. “But when the time is right, Taiwan joining us will be inevitable.”

He also laid out the Communist system that he would impose in Taiwan. “The Taiwanese people do not want a democracy,” he stated. “They want a system of government similar to what rules mainland China.” According to a recent poll conducted through Taipei’s National Chengchi University, only 6.5 percent of Taiwanese citizens support reunification and rule under the People’s Republic of China.

“I want to see Taiwan under new management,” the finance minister explained. When asked how he would deal with potential opposition from current Taiwanese citizens, he was blunt. “We need reeducation rather than suppression of the press,” he said. “The only way the world will learn to understand our Communist government is if we re-educate them through increased media and literature.”

The House of Commons is discussing which member of parliament has been committing treasonous acts against the UK in the Falkland Islands. The Prime Minister revealed to the House of Commons that there was one member of parliament that created instability in the government and risked the lives of Argentinians and British citizens in the Falkland Islands and abroad.

The House believes that the traitor is Patrick Wall. “Patrick Wall has been switching his own policy from the beginning,” said one anonymous member of parliament. “He made one too many compromises with the Labour party and would do anything for his bill to go through. Also, his bowler hat sucks.” Another member said he was “mentally, physically, and emotionally abused by our traitor, Patrick Wall.”

Prime Minister Thatcher revived the intercepted note, detailing with irrefutable proof that the traitor is Patrick Wall. Wall is now considered a traitor to the UK and will be punished accordingly. The committee is convinced that Patrick Wall is at fault, and investigating how this treason occurred, leaving everyone wondering, what on earth is going on in the House of Commons?

When Le Monde informed the UK cabinet of the Soviet invasion of the Afghan government, the UK responded by saying that the USSR just has close ties to the Afghan government working together, but there is no infiltration of the government. Despite direct quotes from the USSR ministers, the UK was adamant about this fact.

Additionally, with the betrayal in the house of commons, the cabinet is investigating the treasonous actions of a member of parliament initiating an offensive attack into the Falkland Islands risking the lives of the British and Argentinian people living there. The House of Commons, The UK Cabinet, and Margret Thatcher are all working diligently to investigate and prosecute the offender.

“I think that our paper RRECO was realistic and people could not handle that fact,” a representative from the bloc stated. “There was a certain piece of western bias… We just thought it was logical to have big developed countries and a few small countries so we really wanted to express the stress in the realistic portion.”

Despite these events, many of the same countries resumed their work together this morning in order to tackle the new issues at hand. Countries such as Mauritania, Venezuela, Syria, China, Iran, and Russia.

Collectively they “came together to start working on this one solution really because we knew that our countries get along, have similar policies, and things that definitely affect each other.” Syria stated, “For instance, droughts can really cause floods, that can be the main contributor, and Syria suffers from droughts. We feel like at this point we are probably the farthest along bloc, it’s the most comprehensive paper.”

Other delegates, such as Indonesia and Uruguay, were simply glad to see a display of diplomacy in the cabinet. Indonesia feels that “it was absolutely wonderful that this paper got passed and got passed unilaterally in various countries who had various different interests. I initially came out on the opposition but when I saw the paper and examined it more closely I realized we shared a common goal, so I ended up supporting it very strongly.”

Uruguay, a sponsor on the Net Green paper that was passed, shared a similar sentiment. The delegate said, “I’m just really happy I could be apart of the sponsors for this amazing paper. It was really really fun just to work out these differences between countries, talking to different blocs trying to make it so we can get our paper passed and it’s just amazing to see the world take a step in the right direction. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen this many countries come together to do something and not say something, but objectively do something.”

The committee is working relentlessly to solve the current issues and anticipates the presentation of working papers at some point during today’s session. 

Here is the Link to all of the Songs – https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5i110Ukju6zKUmHy7CKrFf?si=EWdn6qcKTU6Fsw5tsTI4IA

The first song brought up was Eraser by Ed Sheeran. This song had absolutely no explanation and no significance, it failed 2 to 4.

The next song that was brought up was Mo Bamba by Sheck West But, alas, they choose to use the clean one. Their reason was for giggles because it doesn’t sound like the original. Hence, why it passed Unanimously!

Calling all Swifties! The next song is You Belong with Me by the Queen of Pop, T-Swift! This song was suggested by the VP of Corporate Strategic Planning. “The citizens on the tanker belong in our hearts.”

This next song was the biggest Party song (Pun intended) in the 2010s. Party in the U.S.A by Miley Cyrus. There was no exact reason why it was mentioned but none the matter. It passed unanimously.

This next song is very controversial, but nonetheless, it was mentioned. The song is Touch the Sky by Kanye West. The Board of Directors did a one-for and one-against debate for this song. The Director for this song was the VP of Public and Government Affairs. “It’s Musical genius! It’s just one song, it’s insane!” The director that was against the song was the VP of Corporate Strategic Planning. He said that “With everything going on with Kayne, do we want our public image to show we support Kayne? With everything against him, this could affect our image. This is your (VP of Public and Government Affairs) job and your reputation on the line.” Despite the VP of Public and Government Affairs speaking for this song, it failed unanimously.

This next song did the opposite of the Kayne song, it passed unanimously! This song is Runaway Baby by Bruno Mars. They also didn’t give me a reason why but it is a good song though!

The final song that was voted on failed. With 2 votes for and 4 votes against, was the song Butter by BTS. Even though they’re being enlisted into the army, they still are loved in people’s hearts. The now-former VP of Public and Government Affairs’ explanation was butter equals oil in cooking, and ExxonMobil stands for oil.

The Board is very excited about the reception and can’t wait for the participants to hear the tunes playlist. If you have any suggestions for songs to add to the list, click the link below to add songs to the potential list!

https://forms.gle/eu9nyhPhXTn4QeBx5